My 5 Ways to Conquer Costco

Ah, can I just say it? I LOVE Costco! I LOVE Costco's food even more...The pizza, the hot dogs, the frozen yogurt, the triple berry sundae...all of it. Mmmm!

Costco is a BEAST! Not only because it carries amazing things, but well, because it DOES carry amazing things. Costco is a weakness for me because everything looks so good and you can really find some amazingly healthy items that really DO taste yummy. But Costco has a way of being sneaky and leading you astray when you are trying to make lifestyle changes...and in your past, you'd go to Costco for all the samples and call it lunch. Hmm? Yeah, I see you!

Phew! I'm not the only one!

Since trying these tactics, I've been able to conquer Costco twice now! Here's what I left with today:

No temptations that I gave in to. That's the key here, there will ALWAYS be temptations at Costco. Frankly, there will be temptations EVERYWHERE! But, I have succeeded in NOT giving in and feeling so successful handing my receipt to the lady or gentleman at the exit, who checks to make sure I didn't steal anything.

MY 5 WAYS TO CONQUER COSTCO
(or any grocery store for that matter...)

1. DO NOT GO TO COSTCO HUNGRY

My first thought was, "do you hate yourself or something?" Costco, for me, is really hard to resist when I am hungry. When I am hungry and the samples are being handed out right and left, I'm not thinking what are the points? I'm thinking, meh, it's small enough. It can't be THAT bad in points. Hmm? *insert eyebrow raise*

Everything looks good and everything looks like something I would totally use. Let's face it...there are 3.5 people living in my house. Is a WHOLE HUMUNGO BLOCK of Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese going to be something that my family will actually use? (Refer to my #4 rule...) When you are hungry, your brain reverts to old habits because IT NEEDS TO FEED THE BODY. And the body starts getting super weird cravings. If you are going to be out for quite a while, pack something plan friendly to eat BEFORE you go into Costco. Why before? you ask ,Why not during my shopping trip?
If you are eating something during your shopping trip, it's usually a mindless thing and you end up being hungrier than you really are. You eat your bar or cut up veggies faster than normal, because you're pushing a cart or trying to man your kids, and you just end up wanting more food. Having eaten that meal BEFOREHAND and not more than, like, 20 minutes before, you can have that rope to cling to. I can tell myself, "Camille, you are NOT hungry. You just ate 20 minutes ago...it's just influential hunger. You can do this." And you will be able to say this too...if you don't already.

So my friends, DON'T GO HUNGRY. You'll be much stronger to resist temptation and much more level headed when it comes to your grocery shopping.

       2. DO NOT GO TO COSTCO CLOSE TO MEALTIME (LUNCH OR DINNER...unless you've planned for it)
Costco is a bulk foods carrier, and when they have new items to sell...it's sample time. Around lunchtime, they roll things out anytime between 12pm-2pm. I got there today around 12:30pm and they started dishing out the hot samples. When you start seeing those samples, and your brain knows that the old body would be eating lunchtime around now, so it signals hunger. EVEN IF YOU ATE 20 MINUTES AGO! "Lunch time" is just a phrase...but it's also a mentality that I'm personally trying to break. I want my son to be on the same schedule too, so I'm working to say, "would you like something to eat?" Of course, "let's go have some lunch" happens often, but we are working on a 5-6 meal mentality in this home. When I've had my meal before getting to Costco, the signal still comes, but I'm better to resist and remember that each bite has got to be worth SOMETHING. The question is, is the food item worth spending calories on, or can you wait a little longer to have a more satisfying meal at home? I will say that the samples are really helpful when you are shopping with a little one or ones, but it's also a great opportunity to teach your little ones good choices.

Okay, I'm not perfect, but I am trying to be consistent. Little Man DID have a sample of an apple tart, and when he asked for more...I did look around to try and find something more substantial. Enter the one thing I DID try. I DID have a BITE of these really yummy veggie burgers they were sampling, and I'll throw those out there on the blog when I eat one. I gave one sample to my son and he LOVED them, so I went back and grabbed a sample for myself to try...and then gave him the rest. They WERE yummy, and so I bought them...but not without scanning it with my barcode scanner first (see tactic #4)

       3. DO NOT WANDER AROUND THE AREAS THAT ARE YOUR WEAKNESSES 
I'm just going to tell you right now, I don't even look at the bakery. I just don't. But...today I did. I was reflecting on a tactic a member uses because she LOVES those dang muffins. She purchases her muffins and then cuts them up and portions them out, and freezes them for future use. BRILLIANT IDEA! And she admits that she has the self control to only grab one bag. I don't. I just don't. I'd much rather eat a whole dang muffin on my reset day and have it be gone. But Costco doesn't do that...At Costco you have to buy a WHOLE DOZEN. Knowing this, I still stared at them..reminiscing on the last time I ate a blueberry muffin...and a poppyseed...and a chocolate chunk piece of bakery heaven. It's been a while, okay? I then started asking myself my 3 questions (tactic #5) and I was able to resist.
You know what your weaknesses are, and don't go searching for them. When I have time to spare, I also don't wander around the nut and granola bar isle. Costco always has some pretty cool things that I had never even HEARD about. I will usually get tempted, purchase them, and then no one ever eats them. If there is something you want to TRY, find a smaller box at another grocery store or find a friend who is willing to split the cost and product with you.

       4. GO WITH A SHOPPING LIST (and your WW app with the Barcode Scanner if you have access) 
Best thing you could EVER do for yourself. Throughout the week, I write down things that my family is needing. As I've written those things down throughout the week, I'll then transfer everything onto a paper shopping list. As I'm writing, I'm putting groups together. It's like my own Costco map. I know exactly where everything is, and I know exactly what aisle comes next. So, I write down things that are either in the same aisle or section and then whatever food group/section comes next. And the beautiful thing is, the day that I'm doing the shopping, I can decide, BEFORE I write things down, if I REALLY need that item, or if it can wait. Cross off as you go, and come to the checkout line with a successful cart. It truly is the most empowering feeling a foodie can have when you go to check out and you really have in your cart ONLY what you wrote down on your grocery list. It's awesome.

If you happen to wander off your list...
                 My WW friends...Barcode Scanner, anyone? Have you found yourself creepin' on other people at the store if they have their phone out and a food item in their hand? I don't ever get close but I always want to be like, "HOLLA ATCHA! WW? Right on! How many points is that??" When you are at Costco and something looks yummy (#5) get out your barcode scanner. A few weeks ago I had seen a Smore's Bread Loaf by Franz Bread company that looked delicious. I LOVE Smore's, and I resisted buying it the first time I saw it. I told my husband about it and he asked me why I didn't get it! He then proceeded to tell me that next time I'm at Costco I should definitely get some. I'm passing the loaves of bread, and what conversation pops into my head?? Yep, that one. So, Costco is on it's last leg of these Smore's Loaves (that's ANOTHER thing that's hard for me...you find something you love and then they don't carry it anymore! So THAT temptation arose: If I don't get it now, then I won't ever be able to EVER because they won't carry it anymore!) and I grab one. BUT, out of curiosity and to SEE if it was worth the purchase...I used the Barcode Scanner feature of the WW app. Wanna know how many smartpoints for just 1 PIECE of that baby? 7 SMARTPOINTS!! That's a WHOLE MEAL and THEN SOME! It didn't come up right in the system, but other people had scanned that baby and entered it in. I chuckled to myself as I found someone had said a slice was only 2 smartpoints...haha, who are you KIDDING?! I went with the other 5 members who said the slice of bread was 7 smartpoints, and promptly put the loaf back and told my husband, in my head, that I loved him...but it just wasn't worth it. Saved myself some money and avoided a temptation in my home. Victory.
                For those of you not on WW, you can still go through the process of looking at the nutritional value. Look at the calories, the saturated fat, and the sugar. If you are comfortable with the numbers, then go ahead and make the purchase. Just make sure you are making the purchase with a sound mind and not one that's following the Craving Monster's orders.

       5. ASK YOURSELF 3 QUESTIONS IF A TEMPTATION FINDS ITS WAY TO YOU:

• Will I want this tomorrow?
• Will this fit into my lifestyle plan/change?
• Will I be the only one eating this?

These questions are really self-explanatory and really great questions to help yourself. You are standing there, looking at the delicious deal of a dozen Costco muffins and you think (in a perfect world), "Oh, it's been a long time my friend! You should come home with me. I'll cut you in half, put you in portion bags, and my family and I will enjoy you from our freezer for weeks to come!" THEN reality sets in, and your thought process sounds a little more like this: "$7.99 for a dozen muffins? That's an awesome deal! I didn't realize how cheap they were! Ooh, the blueberry looks so good! But so does the poppyseed, those are definitely my favorite. I wonder what kind Hubby would like? Cookie probably wouldn't want poppyseed, and neither would Hubby, so I should probably get the chocolate and the blueberry. (Lifestyle mentality starts to come back to save the day) Okay, wait, if I bring those home and cut them up...I could cut them in 1/2 sizes. Really? We'd probably be looking for at like, 1/4 for it to be point friendly. Is it even worth it then? And would Hubby really stop at just 1/4? And honestly, we'd probably go through those in a week...Maybe a day I get on one and repeat what happen 2 weeks ago...-36 smartpoints. You are trying to not do that again, remember? Okay, so 1/4 size portions, that's a LOT of plastic bags... What a waste of plastic bags! (Lifestyle change takes courage and conquers) Yeah, no, sorry my muffin friends...maybe I'll get you for a family dinner and then I can enjoy a whole one of you little temptresses." Victory. No muffins bought, and a whole conversation ending being victorious. I probably would NOT have wanted those muffins tomorrow, and probably not on Saturday either. They definitely DON'T fit into my lifestyle plan/change because I would have them around my house to munch on all week...sabotaging my Reset Day mentality! And...those muffins, I wouldn't be the only one eating them...but I wouldn't even be purchasing my favorite flavor, and so ultimately, the purchase didn't even make sense.

I'm sure Costco employees are getting used to the fact that people stand and stare at food for a while, fully aware that those people are either talking themselves INTO or OUT OF a food purchase.

If I worked at Costco, and worked the floor, I'd probably be taking bets...and winning.

Why? Because, I've been there. I'm still there, but I'm doing MUCH better. I'm MUCH more empowered and feel SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT MYSELF when I can come home and chop up bags of veggies for meals that I can enjoy and will eat later that day, and everyday throughout the week. See? Celery?? Bought a huge bag of that stuff, cut the ribs in half and put them in snack size bags for easy access. There's my pre-portioned bag of baby carrots that I'm munching on as I prep! Look at all that green?! I've done all the work and put them in bags...and I won't have ANYTHING to think about if I'm in a quick pinch and needing veggies.

You CAN conquer Costco! You can learn to prep your veggies in bulk and eat them BEFORE they go bad! My next hill to overcome? Not having anxiety when my veggie drawers start to get low and grocery day isn't for another few days. But that's another time :)

Happy Shopping!
Camille

Quinoa Dinner Muffins

Little Man LOVES these babies! I decided to try something new for a change...experiment with egg muffins in the oven. People rave about them all the time, and by people I mean fitness guru's I watch on TV, so I decided to try my hand at it.

This is how my dinner turned out...pair 3 of them with a side salad, and they really are savory and satisfying.

Quinoa Dinner Muffins (makes 18 muffins, 2sp each)

2 T olive oil

1/4 medium red onion (any kind works great)

1/2 t minced garlic

1 c zucchini

1/4 t dried thyme

1/4 t ground basil

1/4 t black pepper

1/2 c no salt added diced tomatoes

3/4 c cooked quinoa (I used the already cooked kind found at Walmart...worked like a charm!)

1 c fresh parsley

8 eggs

7 egg whites

1/3 c shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese

Sautee onions, garlic, diced zucchini, thyme, and basil until onions are almost clear and veggies are a golden brown.

Once veggies are golden brown, add tomatoes, quinoa, and parsley. Cook until parsley wilts and let cool.

Whisk eggs and egg whites in separate bowl.

Spoon 1.5 T of quinoa mixture into **WELL GREASED muffin tins and then fill with eggs until about 3/4 full. (**Even if you have the "non-stick" pans like I do, you will definitely want to spray the tins anyways...I learned the hard way) Top with cheese and cook for 20 minutes at 400 degrees. 

If after 20 minutes the eggs still look a little runny, let it cook for 1-2 minutes more. Don't overcook or eggs will be chewy and firm...not so good.

I stored my left-overs in a tupperware in the fridge and had those babies for lunch the next day. I topped them with a little salsa, and they were delicious.

Be adventurous. Try new things! Love what you are doing, but most importantly, love yourself! Don't be afraid to add other ingredients as well. I've seen spinach, ham, ground turkey, various veggies...Just make sure it looks good so you'll want to eat it! Again, your kitchen is an adventure waiting to be discovered!

Happy eating,

Camille

Why Am I So Fat?

I've taken a little hiatus for a while to allow readers to catch up. Last night, I was encouraged by my peers to start blogging again. So, I decided to jump right in and get back with it...starting with a post of encouragement for you all to do some self-reflection.

Summer is coming to an end, and, if you're like me, Summer was amazing. BUT, my weight is not exactly where it wants to be. At first, I was frustrated that I gained 10 pounds, but you know what? I've come to learn that loving myself is far more important that beating myself up for something that's done. I can now do something about it...forget my mistakes and go to work.

Read on to see some discoveries I've made to hopefully help you feel not so alone in the journey and encourage you to go ahead and make some changes that you've been putting off for a while. :)

This is a question that JD Roth asks you to ask yourself:

"Why Am I So Fat?"

I am currently reading The Big Fat Truth: Behind-the-scenes Secrets to Losing Weight and Gaining the Inner Strength to Transform You Life by JD Roth. Who's JD Roth? He's the executive producer of The Biggest Loser and Extreme Weight Loss. It's okay, I'd never heard of him either.

I love both these shows, more so Extreme Weight Loss and it's my life-long dream to meet, in person, Chris and Heidi Powell. Which, I'm SO BUMMED, because they are coming to SLC on the 30th of April for Utah' FitCon. Boo hoo...Graduation celebrations will be commencing...Here's hoping they will be around for next year's FitCon. Still dreamin', still hopin'.

This book has really gotten my gears working. Many of you who know me will say, "Camille, you are NOT fat. Just stop. Stop." And you're right...I know I'm not fat now. 

I used to be...

When I show this picture to people, most of them say, "Awe, but you were still beautiful! Look at your beautiful smile!" *sigh* Yeah...but now...?

I get, "That's amazing. I just can't believe it"

The girl in black is a confident powerhouse and felt like the world was at her feet. Then depression started to sink in again, gained 6 pounds while her mother was in town for 4 DAYS, and she lost her mojo for 3 weeks and is seriously struggling to get back into the game.

My clothes still fit, alright? But I don't FEEL good...I know I've lost some muscle from the 3 week break and my 6 pounds are slowly coming off. My mind needs to get into the game, but I felt like I was floundering because old habits were creeping back.

Enter a book that is saving my life this week:

Heidi Powell was giving a shout-out for this book on her twitter feed, and so naturally, I had to buy it. And I'm so glad I did...

There is one phrase that JD mentioned only one time in his book thus far that has changed my outlook and helped me get up before 7:00am the past two days...I wrote it down on my mirror and I say it to myself when I "just can't"...

"I will live in the solution, not live in the problem"

Really?! As simple as that?! Mind. Blown.

I was really bogged down with the fact that my muscle mass has diminished, I have been super tired, I gained 6 pounds, I don't feel sexy...blah blah blah. What am I DOING?! I'm living in the problem.

I need to live in the solution! So? It's slow coming, but I'm finding my drive again to get exercising. Today it's a little difficult because family is coming in and I'm doing some introspection at the moment (i.e. reading this book).

That's my mantra right now and I'm taking this week to pick up speed and go all in on Monday when my workout cycle starts.

Now the big question to answer, Why am I so fat?

How did I let myself get there? How did I let myself get to the girl in the green shirt? I inwardly moan whenever I see this picture...because...that's not me! Even though it was me for my whole 24 years of life! Just in the past 2 have I really slimmed down and figured some stuff out...But today, I had an "aha" moment.

JD goes to talk about how time and time again people answer the question "Why are you so fat?" with the response: "I love food"

I say that ALL THE TIME! And I do! But, I'm thin now...and healthy. But even then...If I love food, why do I sometimes eat something that doesn't even TASTE good? If I loved food, why do I eat something over and over until I'm sick, and then eat more? Mind you, this doesn't happen hardly ever...but when it does, I don't know why.

I think I have finally found the answer.

When I was heavy, I hated food. I despised being hooked to it and I despised eating SO MUCH, SO OFTEN...but I couldn't stop. And that's the key... JD goes in to dive deeper to that answer and he's right, NO ONE could love food THAT MUCH!! No one could love food so much that you eat so much of it to purposefully gain 65-70 pounds of discomfort. More to love? Yeah right. I remember in high school that I wouldn't even let people touch me because I didn't want them to feel the fat on my body. I would wear this ugly black sports coat that was fleece lined, and I would sweat the whole da** day for fear of taking it off and having my "rolls" show. Always pulling at my shirt, always sucking it in, wanting so desperately to go under the radar.

Sound familiar to anyone?

As I'm reading and contemplating and discovering so much in so little time, a link to one of his ted talks is highlighted in his book and I go and check it out. He talks about potential and how a simple hug does so much...

Revert back to not letting ANYONE touch me in high school...flashback happens and, DING!, lightbulb goes off.

There was a young man in my high school that EVERYONE loved. He was the fit, tan, football, wrestling, you name it, life of the party guy. And...he always had a girl on his arm. We never became more than friends, but not for lack of trying on either one's part...it just never worked out.

But this friend taught me to start to love myself. 

Freshman year, I was the new girl and he was the life of the party...but he'd always say hi to me in the hallways. More like, scream my name from the other end of the hall...and I was SO embarrassed until I got to know him. When we actually became friends, probably towards the end of freshman year, he started to randomly give me hugs. The first time? I was MORTIFIED!! 

My thoughts? He is NEVER going to talk to me again! He felt my fat! I probably smelled horrible and I was so sweaty. I bet he is so grossed out! And all the thoughts of stupidity a 17 year old, insecure girl could come up with. 

But do you know what happened the next day? Same thing happened...another hug. Just friends, right? Eventually, it turned into our way of saying we liked each other, accepted each other, but never did a dang thing about it...never telling each other until I moved away. Irony, right? Oh high school *snap a high school drama selfie* 

But, that little tradition went on for 3 years. All freshman year that coat started to get a little heavier, until one day, JT screamed my name across the school field and held his arms out. I shed that coat (literally and mentally) and ran straight to him with a big smile on my face. And you know what? He caught me AND didn't drop me. And I didn't die. We chatted like best friends (yeah, how CLUELESS am I? Right? I never thought anything more because he always had a girl on his arm?!) and went on our way...me to volleyball practice and him to football or wrestling.

All that being said...this friend helped me so much. He is now married to a beautiful woman and I'm married to my wonderful husband. Each spouse perfect for the other. But, I can't help but reflect and thank this friend for those hugs way back when...They helped me come out of my shell quite a bit.

As for the over-eating? JD Roth goes to say, "Once you start accepting less of yourself, over-eating becomes a little easier." Why do we overeat? Why do we eat things we KNOW are not good for us? JD claims he can take a person and hang a necklace of donuts around their neck and they are not tempted in the least bit. Okay, my mouth WATERS at the idea of a donut, so I'm totally reading more wanting to know the secret. 

You gotta fix your mind and your body follows suit. No one ever got fat by eating too many carrots and broccoli. 

Today, I finally realized that my overeating trigger is...anxiety. Simple as that. I realized, just today, that I will overeat or give in to cravings to stuff down my feeling of anxiousness so that I can keep going, stay strong, and not let the anxiety show.

Now that I write it out...it's totally counterproductive...but I do it.

How did I discover this? My son had an MRI at 7:30am this morning. A routine MRI, but I always get anxiety when the nurses have to put the IV into his wrist, knock him out for 45 minutes, and ask me to leave him as they wheel him into a room with oxygen and tubing all over the place. I didn't even get to wait in the Recovery Room this time, I was asked to leave my things and was welcome to sit in the outside waiting room or get something to eat in the cafeteria. WHAT? Well? I chose the cafeteria because I needed to finish my breakfast and I had the intention of studying my book to get my mind off of things.

As I walk into the cafeteria, the smell of hash browns sends my stomach into a growl and my mouth a-watering. I pull out my little container of cottage cheese, cinnamon pears, and kashi cereal and, though I had seriously enjoyed the first half before I left for the hospital, the leftovers just made me say, "wah-waaah" and the hash browns sounded so much more appetizing. I went so far as to picture myself eating the hash browns! But, I finished my cottage cheese, and as I was justifying to buy some hash browns, with sausage, and probably some eggs...I heard "live in the solution...not the problem". If I sat in the cafeteria waiting for my son to come out of the procedure, I was living in the problem...I was living in the situation that was giving me anxiety. So? The solution? GET THE HECK OUTTA THE CAFETERIA AND DO SOMETHING! I grabbed my bag and walked right out of the hospital and did 2 laps around the hospital grounds.

I walked into the waiting room just in time...my little boy had JUST woken up and wanted his mom. The sedation meds aren't too friendly, as you can see in the picture above. BUT, we left the hospital safe and sound, and hash brown free.

My fellow readers, learn to love yourself. If you can't, reach out to those around you, find a support group, and lean on others (like I did) until you come to believe it. Love yourself for your weaknesses and work HARD to make them a strength. We can never change and never grow until we accept fault or weakness. When we are accountable and admit to ourselves what we need to change, we can begin to take the steps necessary to become who we truly want to be. As Shia LeBeouf would say, we can JUST DO IT!

Stay strong my friends, for this journey was never said to be easy...but when all is said and done, it's totally worth it.

Glad to be back,

Camille

Just another day in the Kitchen

Stumped as to what to eat? Bored with your normal kitchen consuming habits? Here is an entry just talking about one menu planned day that I enjoyed! Feel free to ask questions and try anything you read about!

After a week of "just winging it" I was able to really think about the foods I've missed and sit down and plan out my 5 meals a day for a week...

It's a BEAUTIFUL THING when what your body wants actually turns out to be a meal you planned for the day!

I started the morning out with a Strawberry Kefir and Ground Flaxseed Mixture. It's 4 smartpoints and I drank it this morning with a banana as a side. Kefir is a REALLY interesting thing...if you don't quite have a taste for Greek Yogurt or any type of fermented food, Kefir is not the best food to start with. I'm drinking this mixture for the next 2.5 weeks. It's a gentle colon cleanse, a helpful little mouthful of goodness to get your body back in to the flow of things. I had it last night and actually looked forward to it this morning, and as I type this, I'm actually looking forward to it again. It's only recommended to do this cleanse once a year, so this is my once a year. The beauty about it is I DON'T HAVE TO STARVE MYSELF THE REST OF THE DAY! It uses natural foods and lots of water...my kind of cleanse. When I got home from my LDS mission to Italy, I did a cleanse...it was the worst week of my life...and provided one of the funniest video my mom had on her phone for quite a while....

Anyways...

My second meal of the day was a delicious bowl of Kellogg's Origins Touch of Honey Ancient Grains Blend Cereal. Because I had a smaller point breakfast, I upped my cereal serving to a whole cup (6 sp) with 1/3 c Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk (0sp) and 3 egg whites, seasoned with my 21 Seasoning (1sp). Yes, a 7 smartpoint second meal of the day, but so satisfying!

Third meal rolls around...literally...it felt like the slowest three hours of my life! Actually, every break in between my meals felt that way. Whenever I come off of an extremely high smartpoint weekend...my desire for food ALL THE TIME takes a while to go away. How do I resist? Self-talk and remembering my plan and desire to stick to it!

My third meal was planned to be an apple with dip, but I decided to switch to my rice cakes with peanut butter. I know lots of you out there love rice cakes plain (like without anything else...but sometimes with flavor) because you can have so many for so little points. For me, I see them as empty food IF I don't put anything with them. There HAS to be SOME SORT of healthy fat or protein associated with them, or I could eat the whole bag and never feel satisfied. Thus, 2 Low Sodium Rice Cakes (2sp) with 3 T PB2 (2sp) and a Premier Protein Shake (2sp). I ate those things so slowly because I was SO excited to eat them...it was what I was WANTING at that exact moment...and all I needed to do was switch my planned 4th meal with my planned third meal.

Fourth meal was apple with fruit dip...I also made a switcheroo with this meal. Instead of the PB2 dip...I decided to go for my Vanilla Protein Pudding.

And yes, I ate it with a spatula instead of a spoon...

Little Man LOVES this pudding dish...He always asks for a bite and comes back for more...I should probably start making a double batch from now on...

Dinner was hard to be motivated to make, BUT I did it! We had homemade Chinese...Sweet and Sour chicken, veggies, fried rice, and these GREAT Wonton's from Costco...4 for 1 smartpoint! They have Chicken and Cilantro as well as a Honey Glazed Pork Wonton. You get them at Costco in the freezer section.

My homemade Sweet and Sour Chicken is about 6 smartpoints per serving, but I counted it as 4 because I don't eat hardly any excess sauce. When you cook it in the pan, a lot of sauce drains off and so you'd need to scoop it onto your plate versus just serving the glazed chicken. Enter in you ingredients when you make it for your recipe builder, but for 2 chicken breasts, cut and diced, I generously coated them with Emeril's Orginal BAM! Seasoning, 1/2 c Tropical Apricot Pineapple Preserve, and 1/4 c chili sauce. Add a little bit of each ingredient according to your taste! It's THAT simple and everyone loves it!

My homemade fried rice? I first got the rice cooking in my rice cooker (love that thing) cut up the veggies-carrots, green beans, canned corn- and seasoned them with my Smartpoint Friendly Stir Fry Sauce then added the rice. Served up 1/2 cup and called it dinner!

Use what you have, utilize what you know...and soon you'll be a master in the kitchen!

Keep cooking,

Camille

Oh, the Beauty of a FitBit

Always remember: You Can Do Hard Things!

I KILLED IT today in my workout!

My mind keeps trailing back to my huge slide over the weekend, I still feel the metaphorical weight of my actions due to the negatives still being present on my phone. But, I do forgive myself and I know that negatives happen! Overkill with calorie DO HAPPEN...even to the strongest. I have done GREAT with my nutrition the past two days, and I've done even better with my exercise.

To all my readers, I've been doing a bit of studying when it comes to physical health. I've realized that physical activity is just what you are doing to move your body...essentially what gets done in a day's time. For the human species, the physical activity our bodies need to be healthy has been significantly reduced due to the commodities we have in our day to day lives. Thus, exercise comes into play. Exercise is a planned or set routine used to build physical characteristics of the human body, be it cardiovascular or muscular.

What in the heck? Where do I even start?

That's the beauty of just getting out and moving. Upping your physical activity if you will. I have made a goal to get my son out in the jogging stroller and go for a 45 minute walk with him; just to get the sunshine and get my legs moving. He loves it and I love it because I feel like a better mom. I can't wait for it to finally get warm and I can take him to a park and REALLY get a workout, since he can't quite get around independently in a park setting...yet.

We, as a human species, accomplish great things when we are motivated. A WW member this past Saturday talked about his recent purchase of a FitBit Charge HR...He told everyone: "I hate this thing!" But, he further went on to say that it is more of a love/hate relationship. He loves it because it holds him accountable to get great goals done in a day's time...but he also hates it for the same reason. If he is ready to just kick back on the couch...and he has 2000 more steps to go before he meets his daily goal...He won't sit down! He'll rock those 2000 and THEN rest.

That's the beauty of fitness trackers if you have no routine set in place. I started out with a FitBit Flex and it did the trick for me until I was ready to move on to a more in-depth device. I got the Flex to just get me moving again after the birth of my son. I had that wonderful tracker for almost 2 years, until I was able to purchase a FitBit Charge HR this most recent December. The Flex went to my mom...though I don't think she has set it up. My husband got a new tracker too, and his went to my sister.
My husband has never moved so much in his life. It brought him SUCH confidence when he pulled a 30k step day...
And yet he continues to impress...

The highest I EVER have gotten was 26k+...and I will NEVER do that again.

All I'm saying is that I am grateful to my FitBit Charge HR. I'm grateful for the verification of my effort and a reminder as to why I am so tired when I go to bed at night.

I've worked.

And I've worked HARD.

I maintained a strong heart rate, I hit my daily goal and then some, I feel strong, I've gotten in my daily workout that I needed, and I even find any opportunity possible to just walk a LITTLE more.

That's where it starts: A desire to up your physical activity. Then, when you feel comfortable with that...then comes a daily amount of exercise.

Our bodies are AMAZING THINGS! If you are thinking about a fitness tracker, DO IT! If you are serious about upping your physical activity and even moving on to bigger and better things...a fitness tracker is a GREAT way to get started!

It's all about balance...You have to love yourself, love your body, and love the food you eat. If you are feeling a little down, say this to yourself for 30 days EVERY DAY in front of your mirror:

I accept myself completely and unconditionally right now.

Bad thoughts may come, but keep saying it. You only have one life to live...so live it the best you can! Get up and move...even if it is as simple as getting that Diet Coke yourself...Oh yes, you know who you make get it for you... ;)

Do something great today,
Camille

4 Tips to Resist the Restaurant Call

Oh, the call of the Restaurant Jungle. SO many places to choose from, most smartpoint unfriendly. But, sometimes, we lose that motivation and we just don't care. The reasons are among many: you're tired, you don't want to cook, what you had planned doesn't sound as good as it did this morning, you don't want to do the dishes, you just want to celebrate the weight you lost (go figure?)...the list goes on and on.

I had a friend from school drop by earlier in the week saying that she and her husband were on their way to try Popeye's down the way and wanted to swing by really quick. Isn't it funny how when our minds are tired, it reflects on restaurants we HAVEN'T tried or HAVEN'T eaten at in a while? Just when I'm at my weakest and tiredest, Hmmm...Those "squished fish patty on a bun" commercials are ringing some bells right now. I guess some fried shrimp and Louisiana biscuits sound good right about now. That was my first sign...the whole "I guess" part of that phrase.

So, how do resist those unmotivated thoughts and stay on track? Here are some thoughts I think to myself in order to keep away until I'm in the right mindset.

5 Tips to Resist the Restaurant Call

1. Listen to Your Inner Voice
That was my first sign, like I said earlier. I've practiced changing my self-talk SO MUCH, that I REALLY pay attention to phrases that I'm using. If ANYTHING sounds unmotivated or negative, there is some self-love I need to give myself. If I'm excited and feeling confident in my abilities and self, then I go ahead and enjoy myself with what I have in mind to do. Then, I move on to the next couple questions I ask myself.

2. Is it in the Budget?
So, you are at the end of your smartpoint week, your weekly smartpoints reset TOMORROW. You take a look at your tracker and you've got 11 smartpoints left. What could you possibly eat out, that would be close by, where Little Man could eat, and somewhere that would be worth it. If you are tossing back and forth between places and nothing gives you a confident resolve, then don't waste your points. Remember? We are working on feeding ourselves GOOD FOOD. Even if you CAN afford a small McDonald's cheeseburger, will that be as satisfying as getting a REAL burger with your weekly smartpoints? That's up to you to decide.

3. Is it in the Monetary Budget?
Now mind you, after thinking through my smartpoints, I was still tired, and didn't really want to cook. So, I was still leaning toward the Restaurant Jungle. So, I then turned to our Eating Out Budget. That's a BIG ticker for me, and probably the leading factor in it all. My husband and I set up a budget for ourselves to follow and help us save money. We have 2 more weeks left in the month and enough money to eat out 2 more times. Do I want to go eat out with my family tonight with minimal smartpoints, or do I want us to spend our money on a place where we REALLY want to go and I can enjoy myself?

4. Recognizing Your Thought Process
I've thought about my smartpoints budget, I've thought about our monetary budget, and I'm starting to come to my senses. BUT, I'm still tired and have no motivation to clean the kitchen. But, I've been working at my lifestyle change for a while. Each thing I do that's good for myself  and my family, gets me one step closer to the lifestyle I want to live. Just because I'm tired tonight doesn't mean I still can't cook something good for my family. 
It doesn't have to be elaborate, they are my boys...they love ANYTHING I cook (except brussel sprouts). 

I'll feel so much better about myself that I stuck out my plan and made something that didn't cost more money and would satisfy me in my smartpoints that I have left.

5. Spend Your Smartpoints, Finances, and Family Time Somewhere that you REALLY Want to Go
I've seen the light in recognizing that my daily and weekly smartpoints are precious things; why would I want to waste my points on something that I GUESS I'd like to try? Truth be told, after going through ALL these questions in my mind, we ended up NOT going to Popeye's. I reflected on the ONE TIME I HAD been to Popeye's, probably 20 years ago, and I remember how greasy it was. That did not sound good to me. I honestly didn't really WANT to eat out anywhere it particular, and if I was going to eat out, I wanted it to be somewhere that I'd really enjoy. Turns out, I bucked up, stuck with my lifestyle change goal of eating out only once a week on Saturdays. See that Specific Measureable Attainable Reasonable Time-sensitive goal? That goal, too, kept me grounded. For dinner that night, I made spaghetti with meatballs and a green salad. Little Man was happy and Hubby was happy, and I was VERY happy that I was able to eat that WHOLE DINNER and not just a small side order of fried shrimp.

Take a little bit of time and have a good 1 minute conversation with yourself before you commit to any other person.
Now, if your FAMILY wants to eat out, you know what to do...
1. Look up the restaurant on your WW app or online
2. Look at their menu
3. See what sounds good BEFORE you get there
4. Plan for it and enjoy it.

You don't have to fear the restaurant jungle; you can rule it!
Happy Eating,
Camille

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Our first response is "make lemonade".

Sometimes...I don't feel like it. Or rather...I can't.

Sometimes, I'm a toad to myself and decide to just suck on the lemons and hope they taste better.

Truth is...they never do.

If you have a lemon in your life, whether it's a person or your own attitude (which is my issue today), don't just suck on the lemon. Get some work done and turn it into lemonade.

Lemons have to be squeezed...really put under some pressure to get all the juice out. We don't save the stuff that's not of use...we throw it away. Then the juice? We add water to make the juice stretch and then some sugar to make it consumable and delicious.

Today is a lemon day. Let's break down the three F's of a healthy lifestyle and how I can turn this day around. Will you do it with me?

FITNESS

I've struggled the past two weeks with feeling TIRED! Just drop dead BONE TIRED. And I can't figure out why! I even put a halt on my weight training to see if THAT would help. Last week, it did! I felt a little better and so I was ready to amp up my training again this week...and it's just not happening. Two days in a row I've napped while my son has napped, but I'm currently waiting for him to wake up so we can go for a walk around the neighborhood.

I'm totally lemony right now because I'm frustrated as to why I'm so tired. I "should" be exercising, I "should" be wanting to be out and about...Should, should, should...blah, blah, blah.

Remember? Should ONLY induces guilt. My goal is to someday be that strong, health and fitness coach that goes and works out despite it being 9pm and I don't really want to. Granted, I've done it a few times, but it's not my "go-to" mentality. I want to be that person that works out hard core despite being bone tired...

But I'm not there yet. And then I remember that this life is a journey and I will get to be a "go-getter" every day. I need to take this time to get to know myself and handle my emotions and my body properly, so that when my body says "no" I can assess whether it really needs a nap or just a kick in the pants. Today, it needed a nap. Tomorrow? Maybe just a kick in the pants. 

Will I take the rest of this week off with my weight training? Maybe. Will I go walking to at least get my steps in? Totally. 

FOOD

My appetite is seriously calling me Tina right now...."Eat the FOOD Tina! EAT THE FOOD!" I just want to eat everything! I want carbs...I want bananas, I want apples, I want berries (yeah? kinda backwards that I'm frustrated with that right now) It's SUPPOSED to be a Low Carb day where fruit is limited and breads, pastas, and grains are put on hold. Wah-wah...haven't been doing that structure today.

Maybe it's because I didn't meal plan this week? Maybe it's because I'm feeling tired? Who knows. I decided to put the brakes on forcing myself to WANT LC food options. I woke up from my nap starving...and I wanted a Raspberry White Chocolate Quest Bar. I scrolled through my Weight Watchers Connect to stall a little and see if I really was hungry. I found a quote a member had posted that I REALLY loved and it resonated with me...once I changed it a little. 

It read: "Eat pretty fruit, do your squats, and don't let boys be mean to you." 

I decided to read it as "Eat pretty fruit, do your squats, and don't let YOU be mean to YOU."

So along with that white chocolate raspberry bar, I picked up an apple too. And then I took a picture.

As I sat and looked at the picture, I realized that this picture speaks volumes. 

Ready to make some lemonade?

In my hand, I'm not holding a donut or a cookie or a milkshake...I'm holding an apple. A delicious LOOKING apple, by the way, and it's an answer to a CRAVING.

On my wrist? There is a FitBit band: one with a heart rate monitor, stair tracker, work-out recorder, and calorie counter. I look to this thing daily.

My fingernails? They aren't chewed...I haven't bitten my fingernails in months. 

Something must be going right. I want to remember that I'm still doing good things, even when the day is a bit lemony.

FULFILLMENT

This area of my life might be a little bit out of whack right now. I can't seem to find one thing that would do me good. Maybe when I get my walk in for today and I eat just what sounds good, along with tracking it-regardless of it being high carb or low carb- my rose colored glasses will slip themselves on again.

Maybe I miss my family-my mom, my dad, my 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Maybe that's why I am in a funk. The weather is great and usually I would head on down to their house and hang out. Not an option anymore. Don't know what's up...but I'm hoping to work out the kinks sooner than later.

And maybe that's just it. I'm feeling lemony because an aspect of my life is out of whack. Time to get on my tennis shoes and go for a walk to figure it out; get some sunshine and breathe in some fresh air.

What's on the menu for dinner tonight? I can't decide. Normally I prep and am doing great when it comes to dinner... it may just be a cereal, eggs, and turkey bacon kind of night. Maybe I'll feel adventurous and do waffles. Who knows?

What I do know is that it's time to grab this lemony day and start squeezing, search for some sugar and start making some lemonade.

We can do this.

Happy lemonade making,

Camille

Cinnamon French Toast

Oh my heaven's, it's delicious!

Sometimes I contemplate not going to work on Saturday mornings so I could get the limitless French Toast at our local bakery shop. Kneaders. Sound familiar? Everything in that place is so point heavy, that I would just have accept the negatives by just smelling the place.

And really? It's okay to do that sometimes.

But for all the other days when that French Toast craving kicks in...which I've never really LIKED French Toast...never really had a desire for it, other than when we swing into Kneader's on a blue moon...I've found a super smartpoint friendly version that I have made multiple times over already! The beautiful thing about it? You can totally change it up with the fruit you dress it with, according to your desires. It's so simple, but so delicious!

Protein French Toast (7sp for the whole dish)

2 slices Ezekiel 4:9 Bread, Low Sodium*

1 egg

1 T Unsweetened Vanilla Almond milk

Dash of cinnamon

1/4 c 1% cottage cheese

1 cup fruit of choice

2 T sugar free syrup

Mix egg, almond milk, and cinnamon in bowl. Coat slices of bread with egg mixture and cook in pan to desired texture. Top french toast slices with 1/4 c cottage cheese, berries, and syrup.

Indulge.

Cottage cheese on top of french toast? You're kidding right? No. Seriously. It's the best breakfast I've had. If I'm not making my Cinnamon Apple Muesli with the greek yogurt and oats, I'm eating this baby! It's so quick and easy to make, yet so wonderful to eat! And your imagination/hunger is the limit! Put any type of fruit on top! It is SURE to please. Best thing, you don't feel heavy afterwards. The salty of the cottage cheese, and the sweet of the maple syrup...I've seriously contemplated having this meal multiple times a day. It's a great treat, with no guilt or yucky-tummy-ness attached.

So delicious.
Enjoy!

"Make food thy medicine",
Camille

*I've had a couple people ask where I get the bread. I have found it at Sprouts and Smith's in the refrigerated health food section of the stores, toward the bottom shelf. At Trader Joe's they also have it unrefrigerated. My go-to place is Smiths! M&M has also tried this recipe with the Sarah Lee Delightful 45 calorie bread which shaves off 2 smartpoints. I still like the Ezekiel because the bread is so hearty and filling and quite good for you! It's all personal preference!

I Scream, You Scream...

...We ALL scream for ice cream!

Most of the time my screaming for ice cream has been due to the shock of how many points I just consumed...

But oh, how delicious it was!

Case and Point: A JCW'S Grasshopper MINI milkshake...It was like 16 smartpoints for 1/2 of it...NOT counting the Oreo on top

So, ice cream has been a RARE indulgence because I LOVE it so much and WILL CONSUME the WHOLE THING which, in turn, consumes my weekly points and dips me into the negatives...Boo hoo.

What's an ice cream lover to do, other than make ice cream a rare occasion and choose her joys wisely??

Well, you be nosy, reach out, and go hunting in the vastness we call...The Freezer Section.

I've been hearing a LOT of talk about Halo Top Ice Cream and Arctic Zero Ice Cream.

And, duh, of course I've tried both. And yes, of course, I'll give you my opinion on both...

NOTE: The following post is all my personal opinion, take my suggestions and thoughts as you will!

Here's the break down...

ARCTIC ZERO ICE CREAM

I've tried one flavor with Arctic Zero (Maple Vanilla) and it was the first brand of specialty, low calorie ice cream that I've tried. A friend hit it's taste right on the head: "If any of you have been disappointed or hurt by the flavor of Arctic Zero's dirty water..."

After some thinking, she is totally right. Don't try the Maple Vanilla first...I repeat, DON'T DO IT. I eventually threw it away because I couldn't bring myself to waste a point on it again.

Camille's Quick Tip: If it's NOT GOOD...Don't Eat it! And remember, with ANYTHING that you eat, if you find yourself saying (even once or even in the slightest) "this is not so good" or "I'm not sure this is worth it" Stop eating it, step away or throw away. Don't waste your points on something you don't LOVE.

Now, with all that being said, I've decided to give Arctic Zero another shot. I've heard that the chunky flavors are good and that the Cookie Shake tastes just like an Oreo cookie. But for fear of being disappointed again, I decided to give the Chunky Brownie Blast a try.

I have not yet opened it, but I'm hoping this will be as good as others have declared. If you are wanting to get out there and try any of the flavors, which I totally encourage you to do...Lots of people love Arctic Zero! I found LOTS of people love the Maple Vanilla (hence the reason why I tried that flavor first). We all have to try new things or else we will never know! The smartpoint count is really low, totally depending on the flavor. For my Brownie Blast it is 3 smartpoints for 1/2 cup. The smartpoint value per serving drew me to this ice cream brand in the first place, but I'm totally about food NEEDING to taste good and Vanilla Maple does NOT.

So, here's hoping the Brownie will be better. I ALMOST tried the Banana Pudding, but remember my rule of thumb...NEVER try ANYTHING banana flavored FIRST! So Brownie it is!

ARCTIC ZERO ICE CREAM

• Where to Buy:
• Smith's
• Harmon's
• Walmart
• Whole Food's

• Location within the Store:
• Smith's- This can be found in the health food section, as well as the regular ice cream section where you find the gelato's a specialty ice creams. If you don't find a flavor you want to try in the health food section, go over to the specialty ice creams near the gelato an there will be a few more flavors.
• Harmon's- It's located in the health food section
• Walmart- a little after or before (Depending on which way you enter the aisle) the regular ice cream...Near Ben & Jerry's
• Whole Food's- in your specialty section/health section of ice cream flavors 

• Flavors:
• There are A TON of flavors, both Creamy Pints and Chunky Pints...Please see link above to search out the flavors!

• Smartpoints per 1/2 cup:
• I'd have to do some digging, but the smartpoint value ranges anywhere from 1sp to 3 sp. The creamier ice creams I've found to be 1-2 smartpoints and the chunkier ice creams I've found to be 3 smartpoints. Get out your handy dandy scanner or calculator for exact smartpoint value

HALO TOP ICE CREAM

Halo Top Ice Cream. Write this down on your shopping list...Now!! H-A-L-O T-O-P That's right, TRUST ME on this one! I heard a LOT about Halo Top ice cream, and the same friend who resonated with me on the dirty water said this stuff was DELICIOUS! So I trusted her again, and...she was right! I'm telling you, this ice cream is the bomb. So fresh and so flavorful, but most important, SO MUCH LIKE REAL ICE CREAM without ANY of the guilt.

I truly feel like angel's should be singing as you look at this picture...

I mean, it literally has a golden halo...and I don't know HOW my camera did it...but the picture itself has a golden glow!

I had a WHOLE CUP of ice cream last night for ONLY 4 smartpoints! Do you know HOW LONG it has been since I have had a WHOLE CUP of ice cream without groaning at the smartpoint count?! When I had my first bite of the Mint Chip...I needed a moment. It was THAT good. When I found it at our local Smith's Grocery Store, I stocked up! I bought 2 Lemon Cake and 2 Mint Chip. When you find them in the store...Harmon's and Smith's is the only place I've found so far...STOCK UP because they sell out FAST. I am IN LOVE with the Mint Chip, and the Lemon Cake is DELICIOUS with Trader Joe's Cinnamon Graham Crackers (yes, I'm totally making a ice cream sandwich with this stuff on Saturday). I've looked into Skinny Cow and I've liked them before, but the smartpoint count was not worth it to me. Halo Top totally is! My husband tried to take my bowl from me! Last night I had 1/2 c of Lemon Cake for 2 sp and 1/2 c of Mint Chip for 2 sp with 2 cinnamon graham crackers because I couldn't help myself. The ice cream fit into my daily smartpoint balance, and the graham crackers were taken care of by my FitPoints. So a DELICIOUS and SATISFYING dessert for only 7 smartpoints!!

The way I went about purchasing the ice cream, because if it wasn't going to be good..why waste my money on a flavor that I deemed "ok" (reflection on the hurt I received from my horrible purchase with Arctic Zero), I searched ALL OVER for anywhere that sold it. I found Harmon's and the only flavor they had left was Strawberry. I LOVE strawberry ice cream...but it was the only flavor left, so my eyebrow went up and decided to wait. With shoulders slumped, I ran to Smith's to get some other groceries and LOW AND BEHOLD I found 1 flavor: Lemon Cake. I bought it, because I really wanted to try that flavor and saw that Mint Chip would soon be available. First thing Monday morning? Went back to Smith's and purchased 2 Mint Chips and 1 more Lemon Cake because the stuff is THAT GOOD!!

HALO TOP ICE CREAM

• Where to Buy: (will add more to list if I discover other locations)
• Smith's 
• Harmon's
• Kroger

• Location within the Store:
• Smith's- Health Food Freezer Section
• Harmon's-In their freezer section with all of the lactose free, gluten free, soy based ice creams. I found it kind of in between regular, rich ice cream
• Kroger- we don't have on close in the valley, but the website says to check your health food refrigerated section

• Flavors: (Birthday Cake and Strawberry are my next 2 flavors to try!)
• Vanilla Bean
• Chocolate
• Lemon Cake
• Strawberry
• Mint Chip
• Chocolate Mocha Chip
• Birthday Cake

• Smartpoints per 1/2 cup:
• All flavors carry a smartpoint value of 2

Get to your local Smith's, Walmart, Harmon's where ever...and go hunting in the freezer jungle! Try something new for a change and be adventurous!

Much love and happy hunting,

Camille

Confess, Assess, Recommit

Yep, it's that time again...Time for me to Confess, Assess and Recommit.

I confess...this picture sums up my week, and especially my weekend perfectly...

This past week has been ABSOLUTELY nuts for me. I was making notes on my phone of meals that I needed to write about and the list just kept getting longer and longer, as well as lower and lower on my list of things to do. I realized today, that I just needed to sit down and write my thoughts.

Confessing, Assessing , and Recommitting and a form of painful love, I guess, when it comes to transformation. I talked about "finding your Sarah" a few posts ago, and this process is one of the many things you do along your journey...to heal...and to get better.

So, I Confess...This last week was nuts for me! My days seemed to go by so fast. I kept a diligent record of all my eating and I did GREAT with my exercise. I was really proud of my efforts, but I noticed that at the end of my days, I lacked motivation to stay the course.

Assess- I know that this lifestyle I am working towards is the one I want to live. I also know that I need to have balance and that I still need to enjoy foods that are out of the ordinary for me every once in a while.

Recommit- I am so glad to be back on track today. I made a very successful meal plan of this coming week, I've stuck to it diligently, I've tracked everything, and I'm rocking my exercise and feeling great. I also have improved my grocery shopping habits, and that has helped tremendously. This is how I want to live my life.

2 days of, both literally and metaphorically speaking, too much on my plate does not need to derail my life's goal of living healthier.

I've heard it said that people can "fail their way to victory". I don't like to think that way. I prefer it as "falling". After you fall, you ALWAYS pick yourself back up...OR you RELY on someone else to help you. Both are acceptable, and no one judges you for either. I truly believe this is the same case with our lifestyle journeys. Failing is when you stop trying to be better and you neglect ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFESTYLE CHANGES...

Thus, my other confession...

I lost all grip on my healthy eating reality yesterday. I had no motivation on Saturday to eat well. My mind and my heart was just not in it...food was not interesting to me, and so I didn't care what I ate. Sunday was the same. I visited my in-laws and one single bite of a treat, now labeled as a trigger food that I was NOT AWARE OF before...led to a complete and total...dare I say it...binge.

"Binge" has such a negative connotation to me...So, I don't like to use it, but that is the only word accurate enough to describe my lack in control of my consumption of food. It was like, literally feeding myself pieces of poison that made my brain feel euphoric. It was a feeling I had never been aware of to experience. I didn't even care to stop, I just kept eating and eating and eating.

Don't believe me? I'm just going to bare all...I'm not going to bore you through my Saturday because I ended that day with 1 Weekly Smartpoint to my discretion. Sunday was the huge tumble off the cliff...Which, it didn't start out horribly food wise...but I didn't wake up the happiest...and I think that REALLY put a spin on my mental conviction to my lifestyle. But I'm telling you, tracking saved my sanity later that night when I reflected on my choices throughout the evening, and I was able to rise with the sunshine and exercise and eat well.

Sunday...you poor little thing...this is how you look in my tracker...

MORNING
1/2 medium Blood Orange
1 T Trader Joe's Crunchy Salted Almond Butter
1 slice Food for Life Ezekiel 4:9 Bread, Sprouted Grain, Low Sodium

MIDDAY
1 Nature Valley Chili dark chocolate sweet & spicy granola bar
1 Mini Babybel Light Semisoft Cheese Wedge
1 Bubba's Lite English Muffin
1 Egg
3 1/8 oz Kirkland Signature Turkey Breast Slices

EVENING
1 Bamboo Lane Crunchy Rice Roller
1 Piece of Lindt Gold Bunny and Friends Assorted Milk Chocolates
1/2 slice Harmon's Cake, Red Velvet 1 Layer
1/3 cup ice cream
1 cup New England Clam Chowder
1 T Raspberry Vinaigrette
1/2 T Cool Whip Whipped Topping
6 Tostitos Hint of Lime Tortilla Chips
25 Mini Cadbury Eggs solid milk chocolate with crisp sugar shell
1 cup Irish Brown Stew
2/3 Sourdough Bread Soup Bowl

ANYTIME
2.5 oz Fudge

There you go...the cold hard truth of it all...

The beautiful thing about yesterday's experience? I learned how to better empathize with those of you who go through this on a weekly basis.

The only difference in me now versus me 6 months ago?

I've learned to not allow Guilt set in.

Of course, Guilt still tries to rear it's ugly head every day...but I don't give it power. I use my self-talk and get myself out and away from that pit of despair. After I consumed so much...I did not feel guilty. I felt really sick, but I laughed at myself. I couldn't believe how much food my body was able to consume. And do you know why I found it funny? Because I tracked every. single. piece. of. food. that. I. ate. Literally, every candy I put in my mouth, I just moved my serving size up 1...2...3...

So on, and so forth.

Mentally, as I confessed to M&M about my day...I realized I just needed that day. I needed to just let go of my eating. I don't know why I needed it...I truly don't. But after I did, I felt liberated and excited to exercise first thing this morning and I felt excited to meal plan and I felt excited to eat the way my body is used to again.
Did I have weird cravings today? Yeah! I totally did!

But did I allow it to control me? No.

My friends, when we fall, and as I said, I fell HARD...the worst thing we could do is belittle and berate ourselves.

The most healing thing we can do is to forgive ourselves of our shortcomings, and take a deep breath, and be filled with gratitude that you CAN do better in the morning. The sun always rises, and the sun always sets, and life goes on.

When you fill yourself with guilt, you rob yourself of the strength you can gain of the experience you just had. Sherlock Holmes, from the TV series,  Elementary, blew my mind and opened my eyes the other day. His assistant, Joan Watson, had been living with guilt of an accident that occurred during a surgery she performed. Because of that accident, a patient died, and the son of that patient had been looming in her life for money...hanging her mistake in front of her whenever it was convenient for him to receive monetary gain. She asked Sherlock for a raise, ultimately to help this boy our financially. Sherlock was quite upset that she would allow herself to be taken advantage of, but gave her $20k to pay off the young man and get him out of her life.

When she questioned Sherlock about the amount of money, almost quadruple her asking amount, he said this to her: "Watson, I've spent my entire career studying poisons. And amidst all my study, I have found guilt to be the most lethal of all."

Please, don't feel guilty about your mistakes. Don't beat yourself up because you can't explain why a binge happened, or why you couldn't stop yourself from consuming that bag of darn bag of Mini Cadbury eggs. You did it. It happened. I'm not judging you because I've been there too. But you know what? The sun set brings the close of one day's chapter, and the sun rising brings on a brand new day.

Breathe that in and live by it.

 Yesterday I ended my night -50 smartpoints. Tonight, I end my night -36 smartpoints. My exercise is doing great things for me, and I have not yet eaten the last 5 smartpoints of my day...which I know exactly how I will use. Tomorrow, I will be less than -36 smartpoints, and by Friday, I WILL be back in the positive range of having excess FitPoints to consume if I choose.

The sun has set on a good day, and the sun will rise on a even better one for me tomorrow.

Let it do the same to you.

Confess. Assess. Recommit. Forgive.

It will do wonders!!
Much love,
Camille

Happy Easter!

I was told by my grandmother that she was going to tell on me, to all my WW friends, because of my behavior this weekend...

I refuse to say that I've been bad. I refuse to say that I've blown it and messed up.

A member came to me on Saturday asking "how I do it". "It" being eat a little more freely on Saturday and then getting myself right on track without blinking an eye. I told her that the key to it all was tracking.

After this weekend, I believe the key to it all is the mentality behind your journey.

Yep, I'll admit it...I spent the whole week talking to myself and making the decision to not track Saturday and Sunday. I decided not to track after my first 2 meals on Saturday because I was going to a family buffet that was going to be absolutely delicious and I did NOT want to spend quite a bit of time tracking food when I could spend time with family.

SO I didn't...and I filled up 2 plates. Had great sources of protein and vegetables, but also enjoyed a really delicious piece of bread. I then filled up a second plate with fresh fruit, and any dessert I felt so inclined to try. Most were delicious, but the ones that were NOT yummy after the fist bite, back on the plate it went. I left feeling SO FULL but also so liberated because I did NOT feel guilty about my meal!

Later that evening all the girls got together and went to Kneader's for dinner. I decided, while waiting in line, that I was going to get a hot reuben sandwich. I get to the front of the line, and I panic. I order a BBQ salad instead with dressing on the side. What? I panicked and ordered a salad? WHO IS THIS PERSON?! Oh yeah, it's me...making healthy lifestyle changes while still eating things that are delicious. And really, the salad was so delicious. I'm grateful for my panic button being equipped with the spill out words of salad ordering.

When I came to my senses, my sister was ordering and I told her to order a cinnamon roll on the side of her meal...so we could share it.

Phew...yeah, we're good. Back to eating the way I wanted to with no guilt required. :)

EASTER SUNDAY!! We had Belgium waffles for breakfast and I ate 2 whole, protein packed, waffles with scrambled eggs and blueberries on the side. The waffles I made for myself were from a fellow Connect member, shout out to @mudhustler for his Big Bad A** Waffles for only 4 smartpoints each. You use Kodiak waffle mix, Quest protein powder, cinnamon, stevia, brown sugar stevia, baking powder, and water. That mix makes 2 waffles. Light, crispy, and very delicious.

We then head to church and I'm sporting my mint green Easter dress I was so excited to wear. Felt a little more full and a little heavier than usual today, but I knowingly contribute that ALL to my food choices being heavy on the carbohydrate side. It'll be gone by Tuesday, maybe even tomorrow.

After church, I got Little Man down for his nap and my husband, sister, and myself all decided to do a light lunch, enjoy some Easter candy, and then have Easter dinner later tonight. Homemade chicken noodle soup for lunch, and then I ate whatever Easter candy my little heart desired.

I enjoyed 1 Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Salted Caramel truffle, 1 Trader Joe's Cinnamon Graham cracker, I lost track of Reese's Mini Peanut Butter Eggs, but I think it was around 10, um 3 See's Candy Gummies, 2 Mystery Flavored Peep Chicks, and a whole BigKat KitKat bar I just couldn't put down...and then I stopped and called it an afternoon. Tonight we will be having roasted spaghetti squash with homemade turkey/chicken meatballs, jell-o Easter jigglers, and my See's Chocolate Butter Egg as well as my See's Chocolate Bordeaux Egg, and maybe eat my personal package of Cadbury Eggs.

YES! I LEARNED MY LESSON! I did NOT purchase a big size bag of Cadbury eggs...just a personal size. And I call that a victory! I only purchased candy that I REALLY wanted this time of year...No robin eggs, no whopper eggs, no jelly beans, no personal box of Chick Peeps, no personal chocolate bunnies, no mini caramel Cadbury eggs wrapped in gold wrapping, and no mini Cadbury eggs wrapped in the blue and red and green wrapping that come in like 12 to a package!

This Easter has been a GREAT victory for me and I feel like I've come SO FAR and done SO MUCH GOOD and have made SO MANY GOOD CHANGES compared to last year, that I can't help but celebrate. I only bought the candy that mattered to me, and heck yes, I am totally enjoying it.

This picture is of our family share bowls. The eggs contain sour gummies from See's that were divided out of only ONE package, there are 4 suckers-1 of strawberries and cream and well as orange cream-2 for me and 2 for my husband. A package of Chocolate Butter Eggs to share with my husband, myself, my sister, and baby, and then 2 packages of personal Cadbury eggs for my husband and I, an opened package of an already consumed KitKat bar, and then a little bowl of 1 package of Reese's Eggs. If those are NOT consumed by tonight, they are going to be packaged up and sent away with my husband to work. Unfortunately those little delicious morsels do NOT come in individualized packages and are also a weakness for me. Boo.

But, I've enjoyed my food. Like I said, I spent the whole week deciding that I would NOT track Saturday and Sunday, just to try this aspect of my journey. Even though I have enjoyed my weekend, I don't think I'll do it again without a lot of contemplation beforehand. I'm so ready to get back with my tracker Monday morning and getting all of my FitPoints this coming week. Every weekend I feel like I'm getting stronger in my resolve to change my eating. It may not seem like it to all of you, but I really do feel like my choices are getting easier and easier to make. I'm not tempted by candy bars in the store; now it's deciding whether or not to buy a second package of blueberries that are on sale or saving a bit more money to go out to Trader Joe's and purchase a 3rd Opal Apple. 

These treat-a-palooza weekends are few and far between for me, and this holiday is the first that I've decided not to track. I still feel accountable because, frankly, I'm tattling on myself.

But I do this so that all you out there can keep hope. You CAN eat what you want, you just have to get your brain and your emotions on board. Even if you've eaten as much as I have this weekend, or eaten the equivalent of my consumption in under an hour today...Do NOT tell yourself that you've blown it. Stop yourself and think about the mentality behind your actions. Were you self-aware or were you trying to fix, hide from, ignore something? If yes to any of the phrases I mentioned after the word "or"...

It's alright. I forgive you. Now, forgive yourself. Go to the mirror, RIGHT NOW, and say "I accept myself completely and unconditionally, right now." You may even substitute the word "accept" for "forgive" and then say the phrase AGAIN with "accept". After doing this, commit with me to get back on plan and back to your regular structure with the sunset and be ready to conquer the day with the sunrise.

Happy Easter, everyone. He is Risen. Because He conquered death, so shall we! Because He conquered all sin and paid for our debts, we too can master the mortal man within us-conquer our appetites of the natural man, and be our best selves. I am grateful to my Savior, Jesus Christ, for all He did for me and all He does to continue to bless my life.

May you find His peace with you this wonderful, beautiful, delicious, Easter Day!

All my love,

Camille

*Later that evening...Turns out I did NOT eat my See's Butter Egg. I decided to save that for NEXT Saturday rather than make myself sick. I ate my mini eggs, and surprisingly, they weren't as delicious as the day I ate an unlimited amount. Not wanting them again any time soon. As for the Chocolate Bordeaux egg? I ate only half and am saving the other half for next Saturday :) I decided to end my night with my last 32oz bottle to complete my 128 oz water consumption a day, and a good handful of sour See's gummy bunnies. Life is good :)